Bloody Bubbles
by MakoRain
Summary: Who's next to take a bubble bath? Vincent, of course! R&R, I like to hear your thoughts, and since i don't have special powers, email me!


A/N: Timeline I guess is pretty much a few months after AC. So here I am, yet again on this whole bubble bath thing. My friend Zacksoldier1 and I have just gone WILD with this theme, because I mean, come on, the guys of FFVII soaking wet covered head to toe in bubbles-what's not to love? Who's the next lucky loveable male to take the plunge? None other than the one, the only Vincent Valentine. I know, can't you just picture it? sighs Okay then, on with the bubbles! Of course, I would love to see this entire thing made in computer animation but alas, I don't have the skills and plus, Square-Enix owns all of my favorite characters. Could I possibly borrow Vincent for a little while? I'll give you a cookie? Fine, maybe another time.

"**Bloody Bubbles"**

**By Mako Rain**

It was a beautiful spring day in Midgar; birds were singing, flowers were in bloom and the sun was thankful behind a cloud instead of beating down on three travelers. All the atmosphere did was add to Vincent's growing annoyance, which was currently being fueled by Cloud and Zack's endless chatter. He tuned in and out of whatever they were talking about, they changed topics more than reasonable for men. It kept switching from tales of training in SOLDIER to daily tasks and work to deliveries that needed to be made and drifted off toward AVALANCHE.

"Wonder where everyone is?" Zack said, eerily voicing Vincent's exact thoughts. He knew Zack was no mind reader but still, one had to wonder at the powers of SOLDIERs.

"Last I heard, Cid's still in charge of Rocket Town, if you can believe that."

"He's surprisingly dedicated and well organized," Cloud pointed out to Zack since Cid was not there to defend himself. He only nodded, not meaning to criticize their far away friend.

"Barett called a few weeks ago, in the middle of another excavation for oil." Cloud informed the other two men.

"Are the children with him?" Vincent asked, finally showing some interest in the conversation.

"I think so, since Tifa isn't watching them and Seventh Heaven has been more peaceful than usual, for a bar, anyway." Cloud answered him, since he lived with Tifa , he would know.

Zack jumped back in with news of Red XIII. "Nanaki's been trying to finish a novel. I think it's about us, he said he'd send copies once it's complete. Should make a good read. I wonder how I was portrayed…."

Zack drifted off as he sifted through the memories of his many battles, and concluded, "Automatic hero material, maybe the lead or at least assisting character."

"It'd be cool if Nanaki included how we escaped Shin-Ra."

"That's one of my most shining moments Cloud, especially since I saved my best friend and beat the bad guys all in one shot."

Zack was unusually quiet for a while. He really was a great fighter, he hadn't been made SOLDIER first class for nothing, after all. The memories of that night so long ago still haunted him sometimes, and Vincent watched as Zack was stuck in a dazed state for a few moments, walking along blindly.

"Oh, sorry about that guys, what were we talking about?" Zack looked around to see Cloud also preoccupied with his thoughts and so focused his sights on Vincent.

"So, Vinny my buddy, have you heard from Yuffie?"

"Not really, no." Vincent cut this topic short; he did _not_ feel like talking about that right now, especially when addressed as _Vinny_.

"It's a simple question, Vincent, no need to be snippy." Cloud's mocking tone was not helping any. Now out of his daze, Cloud joined in on the annoy-Vincent-until-he-cracks- ploy, and Vincent had to admit, it was kind of working.

"And I answered already, Strife. So just drop it."

"Is there something we should know, Valentine? Because I don't see why this is such a touchy subject for you."

Vincent breathed deeply, full of self control for ignoring the pound his friends impulse he felt below the surface. "It's not, Zack."

After a pause, Zack and Cloud stopped walking and just looked at Vincent, forcing him to stop as well. So they were going to act like children now, eh? Sighing exasperatedly, he complied. "If you must know, I haven't heard from her since I left Wutai, so as far as I know, she is still there."

For some reason, every member of AVALANCHE that Vincent kept in contact with found his business to be their business, and Vincent disagreed immensely with that logic, he preferred to keep to himself. Yes, he had left with the young ninja after the last battle they had with Sephiroth a few months ago, but it was for a change of scenery, that was _it._

No one seemed to understand this simple fact though, and so he had been putting up with insinuations from anyone and everyone who thought they "knew" what was going on with him and the girl. Yuffie just did not appeal to his undead heart; they were only good friends, and that's when she was calm enough to talk to. Also, it was a little awkward the ninja was still a teenager while he would be stuck at age 27 for eternity, which made her seem more and more like a little sister, much to Yuffie's disappointment. Why was he thinking about this now? He had much more important things on his mind…

"Vincent, you think too much. Just watching you gives me a headache. I think you should relax a little."

Vincent ignored Zack until he literally heard the lightbulb switch on in his head and the words "You need a bath," popped out of his mouth.

"What?" Vincent said, disbelieving that Zack would even try this; he was crazy sure, but suicidal? Vincent didn't think so. Zack was enjoying this idea way too much for Vincent's comfort and his enthusiasm only made his dread grow.

"Why?"

"I'm telling you man, it's the ultimate de-stresser. It even got Spiky to loosen up a little."

Cloud visibly reddened at Vincent's sideways glanced and crooked eyebrow while Zack just laughed good naturedly.

"Come on, Cloud. Admit it, you enjoyed your bubble baths." Zack didn't get very far before Cloud cut him off indignantly, trying to save his pride.

"Okay, first of all, it was _one_ bath, not bath_s. _And second, we were supposed to keep that quiet."

"Don't mind me, I won't tell," Vincent smirked at how flustered Cloud got and now he had something to black mail Strife with, just in case. Maybe this whole bath thing wasn't such a bad thing; for them, not him. No bubbles would every touch his skin.

"I don't remember saying that." Zack was obviously teasing but Cloud was almost panicky.

"Zack, you didn't tell anyone, did you?" It was all fairly entertaining from everyone but Cloud's point of view. They had started moving again and Cloud was practically chasing Zack, pointing at him as he turned to walk away, but froze in his tracks as his fellow ex-SOLDIER commented, "And Tifa, too."

Cloud spun around and glared at Zack, pointedly ignoring Vincent's questioning gaze, no longer a smile on his face. Through gritted teeth, Cloud mumbled, "Yes, Tifa too, thanks to _you_." He added a few more pokes with his finger for good measure to make his point.

"Hey will you stop that! Don't poke me, _she's_ the one who mentioned you were always stressing over deliveries. I just so happened to mention how much bubble baths work for me." Zack went from annoyed to innocent in record time as he dodged away from Cloud yet again.

"Lucky me," Cloud added bitterly, not enjoying the memory of the bubbles and the canldles and the Enya when he had been alone in the tub.

"Yes, lucky you; otherwise, you'd still be stressed and nervous in front of Tifa and neither one of you would be as happy as you are now."

_What?_ Vincent's ears perked up at this little tidbit of information. So, Cloud finally made a move, good for him, took him long enough.

"Maybe," was all Cloud said, wanting to change the subject but smiling slightly because Zack was right, as always, and Cloud didn't feel like telling him that all the time.

That bubble bath brought things into a new light for him and Tifa, and now they knew where they each stood, finally. All of those years of pining and wondering were self inflicted; they had loved each other since they were children and were just both to blind or doubtful to see it. He still couldn't believe how blessed he was to see her first thing every morning and come home to her every night; but everyone else didn't need to know that.

"Zack's right, you should try the bath thing. It really helps." Cloud's smile grew as Zack looked smugly at Vincent, happy Cloud finally admitted that he was right all along.

"See! Would Cloud lie to you?"

At Vincent's nod that yes, Strife might, he clarified. "Okay, would _I_ lie to you?"

"Maybe." Vincent was not convinced that Zack really had his best interest at heart.

'Fair enough, but think about it for a sec. Why would I do that?"Cloud had the bright idea to stay out of this and so he enjoyed the show from the sidelines.

"To get me to take a bubble bath."

"_For your own good."_

"So you say." Vincent was not going to be taken easily, he would fight to avoid this bath as long as possible, and Zack was already loosing his patience.

"Would you just trust me! I have nothing to gain from this besides a possibly friendlier Vincent."

Sighing, Vincent caved. The argument was just pointless by now anyway. "That's what I'm afraid of."

The peaceful sounds of Enya filled the small room with its calming melodies, effectively soothing the tension that seemed to linger still. Candles lined every available surface and caused a display of dancing shadows with each flicker of flame, merging with the steamy atmosphere to cover the room in a soft blanket of warmth. Vincentsat rigidly in the tub. He was supposed to be fully enjoying the warm bathwater's effect on his aching muscles when something was missing. The tub was full of bubbles and Vincent slid farther into the depths, laying his head on a pillow while trying and failing to get comfortable against the porcelain's hard surface. He just couldn't place what was missing and soon was interrupted by a knock on the door.

"Don't you dare come in here," he threatened whoever was on the other side of the door, wanting as few people as possible to know about the bubble bath crap.

"Valentine, relax. That's what these are here for." Zack came in and motioned to the bubbles while arranging a bunch of candles around the room.

"What do you think you're doing?" Vincent did not like the looks of this.

"Just setting the mood. Candle light is a must have. Didn't you notice something was missing?" Zack asked over his shoulder as he proceeded to light the millions of wax sticks that covered every surface of the room besides the floor, because that would be pointless. Vincent thought he saw Zack glance at the tiled floor and seriously considered putting them there, and Vincent almost thought about jumping out of the tub to make a run for it.

As to Zack's question, Vincent noticed earlier that something was off and after seeing all of the tiny little lights floating around and emitting a warm glow, he did feel a little better. Not that he would admit that Zack ever. Instead, he remarked, "These are a fire hazard you know."

Zack just ignored him and hummed along to Enya playing in the background.

"One of these days you're going to fall asleep in your bubble bath and wake up to no house."

"Stop being so pessimistic Vincent, or I'll lock you in here for the night. And trust me, the door locks from the outside, and I have the only key."

Vincent didn't believe him; why would he have a key to Tifa's _bathroom_? "I could break the door down."

"You could try but you would just ruin the relaxing sensations on your muscles from your bubble bath, so stay put and enjoy it, damn it."

Zack was at the door and was just about to leave when he turned around to warn Vincent.

"If I hear anything hinky up here at all, I'll barge in and kick your ass, candles or not, got it?"

"Yes sir," Vincent gave a mock salute that sent Zack off with a happy smile before flipping him the bird behind his back.

Through the door, Zack yelled, "I saw that."

Vincent was stunned and asked. "Saw what?" before Zack cut him off. "Keep your fingers to yourself, Valentine, and RELAX!"

Candles lined every available surface and caused a display of dancing shadows with each flicker of flame, merging with the steamy atmosphere to cover the room in a soft blanket of warmth. Vincent watched as the flames danced and shifted, getting lost in the shadows for a blissful fifteen minutes before another knock at the door pulled him back.

"What now!" He said coldly. He was actually starting to get the full effect of the bubble bath and to be denied that was just pissing him off.

Cloud walked in, hands over his eyes and asked "You decent?" before opening them.

"I'm in a bubble bath Cloud, how decent do you think I am?"

Cloud was either ignoring his sarcasm or completely oblivious as he leaned on the sink fixture, taking in the bubbles, candles and music that filled the room. "Yep, this is what Zack set up for me before. Nice, huh?"

Vincent just glared at him and since Cloud wasn't leaving like he should be, he asked, "What can I do for you?"

"Oh, me? Nothing."

Vincent tried to keep his anger in check as he continued. "Then why are you here?"

"Just wanted to see if it was working or not." Cloud tapped his fingers in time to the music, still not getting the hint.

"Tell me Cloud, does this bath thing seem like it requires more than one person?"

"Um, no."

"Then do you think it wise to piss off an already temperamental vampire that is taking his first bubble bath, who is also naked while surrounded by candles and Enya?"

"Probably not."

"Then I suggest you leave." Vincent's voice went from clipped to relaxed as he saw Cloud back up to the door and say a quick goodbye before closing it, leaving Vincent once again alone in the warm atmosphere. But not for long, as yet another knock came at the door.

Vincent was too tired to argue so he muttered, "Come on in. Why the hell not since you'll just barge in anyway…"

"What was that?" Cloud asked, peering through the cracked door.

"Strife, are you in or out? Come on, let's not let all the hot air get away."

"Oh, sorry, I just forgot to give you what I came to give you the first time I came in."

Vincent had a hard time understanding what Cloud was trying to say but took a guess. "What is it, then?"

Suddenly, Cloud produced a small plastic bath toy, a purple rubber ducky, to be exact, and placed in on the water as Vincent stared at it with wide eyes and a sense of mild loathing for the little thing.

"You have got to be kidding me."

Vincent looked on in disgust as Cloud pushed the duck through the bubbles, letting it float around a little and possibly as a way for Vincent to warm up to the purple bath toy.

"It really helps, you know? It'll keep you entertained if you get bored."

Cloud lifted the ducky out of the tub and set it on the tub's side, letting Vincent get a good look at it and squeaking it a little for the full effect.

Out of nowhere, Vincent had a knife stabbed through the duck, effectively pinning it to the porcelain of the tub. Eyes wide, Cloud gasped as his beloved bath toy was skewered to the tub, letting out on last squeak before laying silent forever.

Vincent thought Cloud might cry as looked at the young man, and said, "You shouldn't have done that."

Cloud was speechless and so heartbreakingly sad that for an instant, Vincent regretted killing his duck. But that was short lived when Zack came running in with a handful of the little yellow bastards that squeaked as hugged them to his chest

Cloud was on his feet in a flash, protecting the armful of duckies from Vincent's wrath before Zack could throw them in the water with the angry vampire.

"NO! Don't do it, Zack!"

"What is wrong with you, Cloud? I just thought I'd bring Valentine something to play with…" his words trailed off as he took in the gruesome sight that was Cloud's beloved purple ducky.

"Oh, sorry Cloud. Here, have another ducky." Zack handed him a yellow toy before contemplating tossing the others in the tub with Vincent anyway. At Vincent's death glare, he thought better of it and left, bringing the duckies with him

"Maybe I can find a more appropratie toy for you." Zack muttered, off to find something Vincent couldn't destroy easily.

Cloud looked down at the yellow toy and squeaked it pathetically, not looking at Vincent. Now he really felt bad for Cloud and tried to apologize.

"Cloud, I didn't know how much that..thing meant to you and I'm sorry. Look, I'll buy you another one, okay?"

Cloud finally looked Vincent in the eye and he saw a spark of hope? in his mako laced blue eyes. Vincent suppressed a laugh at the thought that Cloud, big hero of the planet, was getting emotional over a_ duck_.

"A purple one?" Cloud asked, optimistic at the sound of a new purple rubber ducky. Hope springs eternal, Vincent thought ironically as he answered Cloud. "Yes, a purple one."

He actually let out a true smile ever since the death of his duck and nodded okay before turning to leave. Cloud stopped in the doorway, some one blocking his way out.

"Ah, come on, people! How do you expect me to relax if you won't leave me alone in the bloody bubble bath!" Vincent's anger resurfaced at yet another intrusion. Tifa shyly came in the doorway, waving at Vincent with a quick hi before turning to Cloud.

"I was wondering what was taking you so long…oh." Tifa spotted the duck pinned to the tub and looked at Vincent questioningly before giving Cloud a hug. Vincent leaned his had back and muttered "Just kill me now," as Tifa consoled the distraught Cloud.

"I'll get him a new one!" he yelled as they left the bathroom, leaving him for once alone in his bubble bath. He really needed it now after all the crap he'd just gone through and so Vincent rested his head on the pillow behind him, dozing off. After a few hours sleep, Vincent woke up fittingly to find that the bathroom had caught on fire, leaving blackened walls standing around him, just as he had predicted; Vincent hated being right. THE END

**OMG, I apologize for how long this is but I just couldn't stop myself. Hope you had a few laughs at least.** **Kinda reminds me of Looney Tunes, in a way, for stupidity.**


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